Retraction

If a person for whom I wrote a letter of rec to grad school now wants to "imagine she never met me," can I retract my letter?

Here goes:

Dear University History Department:

This is to inform you that I have never heard of this person. Therefore, I cannot possibly give you any sense of her academic abilities, her social skills or her potential to succeed. I have no clue why someone I have never met would list me as a reference, but there you have it. I cannot possibly write a recommendation for this person, since "recommendation" implies I actually know this person and she swears we have never met.

I apologize for any inconvenience this may have created for you and your program. You may want to consider retroactively removing degrees from such people.

Sincerely,

The imaginary English professor who has never met this applicant

There. If I can't really do it, at least I can do it here.